Tips & Tricks

HOW TO TALK MY LANGUAGE

Multiple choice questionnaire

Question 1

"MAOW!!! MAOWW!! MAOW!!" means :

a) "I'm neglected and haven't been fed in days, please feed me."

b) "You look gullible and I'm bored of premium cat mince and the clinically approved vet science diet I get at home. How about some yummy snacks like say, a bowl of warm milk or a can of tuna?" 

Question 2

"MAOW!!! MAOWW!! MAOW!! MAOW!!!" means:

a) "I'm lost and don't know my way home."

b) "You look gullible. I'm bored. How about a tummy tickle or a nice cuddle on your lap. And maybe some food?" 

Question 3

"MAOW!!! MAOWW!! MOOOAW!" means:

a) "Help, I'm stuck up this tree."

b) "You look gullible. I'm bored. How about I watch you try to climb this tree to save me and then when you're not looking I'll jump down all by myself and scare you?"

Answers: The answer to all the above questions is 'b'. 

Tricks you can try at home

Yeah, I know your parents spent hundreds of dollars installing a fancy cat flap in that nice glass back door. But cat flaps are so undignified. Try meowing really loudly on the front doorstep in the middle of the night instead. You'll wake up your parents and their neighbours. It's great fun! You might even get a midnight snack. 

Then, after you've woken everyone up,  just saunter out the back door ... and come back to the front one at about 4am. This works, I do it nearly every night. (If you try to keep me in all night I'll howl the house down).